Remembering Our Humanity During the Holidays

Automations have helped us speed things up and limit redundancies, but often for the sake of streamlining and efficiency, we lose human connection in the process.

We adapt to the technology & serve it, rather than it working to serve us. And in serving the "systems", especially at this busy time of year, it is easy to forget about the humanity of the people we're interacting with as we go about our errands, events, & busyness.

When I worked at Starbucks in a busy office tower, there was a man (one of many) who came in every day for his coffee. Tall Dark. Sometimes a bran muffin. He wasn't chatty, but he was consistent. A year into that job, I was volunteering at a booth in a completely different setting when Tall Dark walked up. I started chatting with the familiarity of old acquaintances, until I noticed his bewildered look back — he had no recognition of ever encountering me in his life. Whether Tall Dark had a stressful job, or was super shy, or simply imperceptive, I have no idea. But, he interacted with me several times a week for a year, without ever seeing me.

The quick exchanges we have at the mall or the grocery store are still engagements with another human being – it’s a detail we simply can’t forget.

How, then, do we treat all people with dignity, even when we’re short on time and patience?

Talking is a necessity. Conversation is not. Though often impractical in crowded stores, try to chat a little with the person helping you. Questions like, “Has it been busy today?” “Are you ready for Christmas?” or “Do you have many hours left to work?” may seem trite, but they open the door for empathy and shared human experience.
Say Thank You and Have a Good Day ...and mean it. These words spill out of our mouths with ease! Let them not be empty of the gratitude & earnest well-wishes.
The most basic, impactful, and wholly low-cost effort?Eye contact. Making eye contact shows that you see the other person is there, in their humanity, not just their function.

My eyes usually dart around between my wallet and the pinpad and the register screen and the décor… anything to distract me from my perceived awkwardness of, you know, looking at another person standing in front of me. But, I know from my own experience selling in person, that a look into my eyes, even from someone totally disinterested, makes all the difference in dignity.

If we can't manage eye contact, it's time to go home, take some rest, and get back in the game tomorrow.
If you are the one providing the customer service, remember that on the other side of the counter, or behind the email on the numbered ticket, is a real person not just a problem to be solved.