My Highlights from 12 Years

[We, Shelley & Wayne, are in the final stages of our dignify farewell! Excited to pass dignify into Lauranne's very capable hands :) ]

So many memories! dignify has been so thoroughly weaved into my life, my day-to-day, my finances, my time, & my family’s story, it is impossible to distill it into a blog post. But, I've tried!

Here are some highlights and reflections from 12 years (and my entire thirties!) of running dignify.

Aspirational Generosity

A local woman, a longtime customer, came in the other day to purchase some (many) blankets before we leave town. She has bought more from dignify than anyone, both for her own purposes and annually in November for a fair trade pop up store called More Than A Store. She & her husband are co-owners of a large trades business, and every year, she sets up this “store” and gives their employees a credit to purchase what they’d like as their Christmas gift. For a decade, she has outfitted MTAS with our kantha, many of them going home with her!

I knew that this family was enormously generous, both financially and in spirit, and I was aware that she gave kantha (the large throws are her fave) away to family members & their adult kids. What I learned this week was that she keeps a closet stocked with blankets, and sometimes if a friend is over for coffee or a person seems like they need it, she will pull one out and gift it to them on the spot. Her most recent stock-up was not just for her own closet, but also to create a similar supply in each of their grown kids’ homes, for them to gift.

When she left our home, we felt stunned, and the term that seemed to capture this extraordinary behaviour was, for us: aspirational generosity. Oh, that we may live out of this model of gratitude & abundance!

(Her "blessing closet")

This example may be exceptional in scale, but we have also seen this same spirit, and just as laudable, from others: a nurse, a non-profit worker, a single mom… folks who saved and sacrificed to purchase blankets to gift out of the same spirit of generosity. 

Carla has been another highlight: our faithful customer from Kentucky, with more orders than anyone. Each time she has ordered, she sends us an email afterwards to say, “I received the blanket! It’s beautiful! Thank you so much! etc.” This kind of extra effort has always meant so much to us, giving us a boost. 

Their support for us has been exceptional, and we have felt so deeply bolstered by them. And to me, what’s better than simply championing dignify’s mission (or us): they all absolutely love the blankets!

One of my all-time favourite photos, 2016, Anastasia Chomlack

I want give a special shout-out to professional women in fields that have granted them the resources to gift dignify blankets widely. Once, someone in a closed Facebook group for women doctors shared her love of dignify, and we absolutely saw the resonant effect! I have a soft spot of appreciation for the female doctors, lawyers, directors, and other women in positions of power and financial success who have really buoyed this business in extraordinary ways. Thank you!!

Tremendous Honour

Some of the most memorable stories from our years are because of the depth of grief or sorrow involved. It has been a tremendous honour that people have bought or gifted kantha blankets to provide comfort in the face of loss, cancer, and innumerable other sufferings.

I received an email just last night that captures this perfectly:

When I learned about Dignify (how many years ago now? I’ve lost count!), these blankets became my chosen gift of solace to women friends who were going through hard things, through times of intense grief. I chose these blankets because they represent a comforting embrace, and also because the women who make them are strong and resilient. I like to think of that strength coming through in every stitch. To me, they represent women supporting women. And also they are such beautiful blankets!

Once, a local woman came to pick up a blanket in person, and as Wayne chatted with her, he discovered that it was a gift for her young niece who had terminal cancer. Honour. 

A family, picking up the pieces from a devastating time of unrest, purchasing kantha throws for each bedroom as a symbol of their fresh start. Honour.

Four different professional photographers have captured styled photos over the years. 2023, Georgi Silckerodt

Erin messaged us once to share her gratitude for these symbols of resilience & hope. She had received a kantha throw from her mom to comfort her "in the difficult days post-chemo"; in turn, she has sent many to friends who are struggling in one way or another.

I absolutely love the story behind each kantha blanket: hardship finding hope and purpose in creating something new. There are just so many symbols in each blanket. The little patches as a picture of where our weak places can be made stronger. The blend of cast-off saris creating a gorgeous new creation. The stories of the craftswomen themselves and all they have endured. I have purchased as a gift for loved ones in times of sadness and adversity as a way to send a hug and message of hope for a beautiful future.

There are many more examples, many more stories, and I will preserve the privacy of those sacred accounts. But, it has been a great honour to play a tiny role in these stories of empathy and redemption, and in many cases, loss and death. To know that people have "wrapped themselves in love" in dignify's kantha has been a highlight and privilege of my life.

Visiting Bangladesh

Summer 2019 was the first time I felt like I might be ready for a change. My friend & colleague, Robin — who runs Basha in Bangladesh — suggested that I come to visit & see the women & the operation in Bangladesh. Well played, Robin! No, I’m kidding; it was a long overdue trip… 7 years had passed, running dignify & telling their stories without ever seeing things on the ground. 

Amazingly (in hindsight), I was able to visit in January 2020 (!). I spent most of a week in Dhaka: coming into the main production centre and administration offices, seeing the indigo dye process, buying reams of fabric at market, eating delicious food, visiting in the daycare, being hosted so kindly, AND seeing more human beings than I have ever seen at one time in one place (Dhaka is the most densely populated city in the world).

I also took a quick trip overnight with the Friends of Basha social worker to Jessore, a more rural city near the Indian border. In Jessore, I visited a second production centre, met the local Salvation Army officers, toured the brothel across the street from the SA office, and stayed overnight at an apartment sponsored by Friends of Basha for women employees or trainees who needed assistance getting on their feet.

We also went out in the afternoon to the village area just outside of town to visit “superproducer” Poli’s home, her husband’s tea stall, and some homes of other artisans & Basha contractors (women who do not qualify for the specific requisites to be a full-time Basha artisan, but may come to sew pieces during high-volume times.

I'm not sure how to capture my time in Bangladesh. Awe is a word that comes to mind.

The young women who lived in Friends of Basha's "hostel" had such horrific stories. One young woman brushed my hair while she told of being burned alive by a brothel madam after telling a police officer/customer about her plight (having been tricked/trafficked and trapped without ID). Later on, she leaned her head on the shoulder of the house mum, "Auntie", as a few stray tears fell down her cheek. At other times in the evening, she was guiding me through traffic, or laughing boisterously. It was such an evident lesson in the reality that we are many things at once, and we hold many things at once.

There were numerous encounters & experiences like this throughout my week. I met a woman with the same children as I have, the same ages. A natural connection! I learned from my colleague that she had once trafficked younger women into prostitution. 

An artisan in the Dhaka production centre was named Laki (lucky). In our conversation, she said, "I don't feel very lucky. My husband steals my money and wastes it on gambling, drugs, and women."

Such extraordinary resilience, joy, and relinquishing sorrow & angst to a God who sees injustice.

This is hardly an adequate capture of the time, but I am deeply grateful for it. I returned with new energy and invigoration to pursue these very best, redemptive things that define this business.

Our Family’s Story

There was a book, years and years and years ago, about “writing a great story” for your life, for your family’s life. The details are fuzzy, the content long lost amidst hundreds of books and thousands of scrolling hours since then. What I remember was the idea that people want to be a part of a great story. Kids want to live an adventure, to experience life as the characters of an epic tale.

I did not set out in 2012 with my naptime lark, my side business project, to write the great story of our family’s life. But, I think that is what happened! 

My kids have never been to Bangladesh. They don’t understand, really, the true need or impact of the work for these women. Even with our teens, how much can I really explain about the horrors of a brothel, the injustice of the "choice" of selling your body to a stranger in order to feed your child? They (nor I) can even conceive of an aunt lying to your face to make a trade of your life for money. All of that is only lightly alluded to in our house, as appropriate for their ages. 

My kids may not have seen the impact firsthand; they may not understand the desperation and depravity that runs as a current under these stories of redemption. But, they know injustice. They know poverty. They know opportunity. And they see the boxes, after boxes, after boxes, that have rolled through our house (literally, as we’ve “yeeted” them down stairwells). These come from somewhere, and they grasp that there is more to this business than a simple reselling of goods. (And more than a collection of boxes from which to leap, one to the next, like a real-life video game... another highlight.)

What they, what all of us, can more easily see is the impact closer to home. Does every, single person we know have one of these blankets? Basically, yes. Do they love them, gift them… Do new friends see them with fresh eyes of wonder when they walk by our office or hear the story? 

The very odd time, we have had a crazy customer. And, of course, like any normal person, I rant about it to my close ones and we laugh, and that character becomes family lore. But, my kids know that beyond “Terry Dee Dee” and “Lady Who Scammed Us Out of Those Stockings”, there are thousands — literally thousands — of customers who are extraordinarily kind, aspirationally generous, and radically compassionate.

When we took some time as a family to reflect on & share our memories of dignify, the first and most prominent thing that our kids mentioned was our presence, availability, & flexibility. For our oldest, her parents’ work with dignify has spanned from age 3 to 16. Our youngest was born a year into the business. It is all they have ever known: us working from the house, infinitely flexible (at least in their minds 😂🙃), and here every day when they come home for lunch and after school.

Truly, this has been the gift of a lifetime: for these two Quality Time-loving parents to have the kind of work, all these years, that has allowed us to enjoy our children in this unique & time-abundant way. 

Brush with Fame (Personal, Local Edition)

A few months after we had launched, we received an order from someone in Canmore, a mountain “destination” town about an hour away. The address stood out and when we looked it up (yes, we Google interesting names & addresses), it was for a restaurant, Crazyweed Kitchen, that had a special, personal meaning to us. We had eaten there for lunch a couple of times while dating, and when Wayne proposed marriage, he had driven out there for takeout earlier in the day, just for us to enjoy for our newly-engaged dinner. What a thrill that the head chef and restaurant owner had bought a blanket from us!!

In my handwritten note (yes, we have always done these and have now written close to 15,000 of them), I told her the story. We were in touch over the next few years, and when she renovated their dining room, included a crateful of dignify throws for use on the patio & by chilly guests!

Brush with Fame (A-List)

I suspect that any sane, famous person (oxymoron?) would use a fake name for their online shopping, so we really don’t know who among the rich & famous has a kantha to their name. I’m little impressed by fame, so I kind of like the mystery. 

I will say, though... in 2020, Taylor Swift released a film of her folklore live recording in Aaron Dessner’s backyard studio and y’all… the styled prop on his couch looked a LOT like a dignify kantha blanket!

We did (really) receive orders for several beautiful, silk blend throws from an all-time great, multiple-Oscar nominated actress. 

And, a very fun partnership developed with a customer who was formerly the personal assistant to another, very famous Oscar winner. She had been a repeat customer and loved the blankets so much, we worked with her on a custom project to fill her women’s retreat/art center in the British Virgin Islands with kantha!

Movie Orders

I vividly remember our first, truly big online order.

In November 2014, I spent 3 weekends in a row — Friday, Saturday, Sunday — all day at a Christmas market in a booth we had set up, and honestly: did not enjoy it! All day for those nine days, with my kids (aged 5, 4, and 1(!!)) at home… I spent about 100 hours on that show and it was a grind. 

Most notably, on Fridays the market was open for 10 hours, and I never sold more than $1000 (1 blanket an hour!). On the Friday one week after the market ended, my husband & I went to see a movie (Interstellar: still one of my faves — I went to see its 10th anniversary rerun on IMAX in December). When we left the theatre, there was a notification on my phone for an 8-blanket order. I thought, "Well, that's a much more pleasant way to make $800." 

This was a clear pivot point in our business; we decided that if I were to spend 100 hours on something, it should be on the online store, where I can sell blankets while watching a movie. 😏

I henceforth invested all of my efforts into the online store, and we have had many "movie orders" in the decade since!

Another all-time fave photo, from our very first shoot and blanket collection. 2012, Shannon Yau. The photographer bought the blanket & gifted it for a wedding, then later partly regretting giving this beauty away!

Needs No Further Explanation

• A child, saving her money to buy her own blanket.
  
  
• dignify blankets travelling all around the world.
  
  
• A teenaged boy who brings his indigo large throw to camp.
  
  
• A woman who gifted a throw called "Soon" to her friend after two years of infertility; then that friend toted it around with her for 3 years on business trips & family vacations before receiving another throw called "Now", 5 years after the first one, when she was expecting her first child.
  
  
• Basically every person I know owns a kantha blanket.
  
  
• Someone who heard about dignify on a podcast, then bought her first blanket 6 years later.
  
  
• A friend saying that if her house was on fire, the thing she would want to rescue (after her kids) is her large kantha throw.
  
  
• The 5-year anniversary limited edition Simplicity White Throw I made in the (then) dingify colours. I love this photo (that I shot in our house) and I loved that we developed the white kantha product from scratch.
  
  

I'm sure I could go on.

I plan on making an album of my favourite photos and all the beautiful, lovely things that you all have emailed me these last few weeks. Please share your own memories or comments below.

I am so grateful for you, for dignify, for the women artisans, for all of it.

xoxo Shelley